A Selection of Poetry from 2005-2009
By Brian D Smiley

Slow Change
Try to walk softly home because now we know and are open to the flow
something to be said for mismanagement and a need to settle our debt and pay the rent for unconsciousness
we need a fair energy exchange and sacred commerce amongst us
a natural being so sweetly
alive in our emotions we feel the range
we walk and we talk and we laugh about it
and just about everything that we saw reminded us that we are part of it all, yeah we are part of this
Yes I rise upward and outward evermore
And 1 and 1becomes nothing then everything
Some say how could you laugh in this peril and ultimate darkness
But I say how can you help it once you have realized your divinity
Or what it means to me at least
Who’s to say that your right when you are right where you’re at
Are you dreaming, just existing, feeling groovy
Like the ripples on the record album
Leaving some things to mystery, never appealed to me, I just gotta see…

Time won’t let me go even though I try to walk so slow
Speaking into the wind never to defend or make amends
Life experienced from your eyes
Must it be so hard to hear lies
When do all things change
Sitting on the fence with apathy
What if the war was a crime
And humanity would always shine
I swear I won’t rob the kind
Eye for eye makes the whole world blind
Just because you are listening dosen’t mean that you wake up in your dreams


The Goddess

Tenderness on a whole new level
We share sacred space and vulnerability
Loving every moment in the others presence
Strength is doubled by individuality

Delivered From Into

Our language wants to define every object we see
To separate and cut like our ego from reality
I am not that tree, the fruit, or the seed
When it dies I go on living and to dream
Isn’t it clear that I’m not you, you’re not me?
It’s easy when there exists this duality
Yet I see myself in you and cannot escape my reflection
Between any two souls they share what is made
As I exist beyond myself my physical form
Atoms I use become air born
Millions of microorganisms on a vacation
delivered from form

Behold the flashing sign
For it is signaling a change
Either beginning or end
It’s yours to have again
We walk many paths in our lives
I see the sun shine in your eyes
We may run from the storm in the sky
Safe now as we watch it all go by
Making time to embrace it all
We choose to heed the call
Now I fear no fate that lies ahead
As I remember the words that you said
“lend out your hand and pick them up
for they know not what they do
reach out and fill their cup
show them all that they can choose 04
Open, so where I’m not holding
But it’s there for filling
So I’m throwing it down
And having visions of grandeur
Glimpses of future moments unfolding
I don’t want to stand here in dangerous turnpikes, parked in the drive way or out on the road where the story is told
Empty moments suddenly filled with baritone saxaphones through the telephone off the hook in the kitchen
Tucked in a fold away for the being
Don’t start to panic at the constant derailment
Getting caught at the station of nervous debate
Transformation station to station connectivity
I’ve taken the causeway that leads to the ocean of land’s slow dissolving and fading away the everyday decay

There is a lot of empty space to fill
With creations I fix in my head
All it takes is time and insight
Into the things I have said
I heard you were thinking out loud about being late to diner
Plates full of death
The day will come when we’ll get thinner
But giving day is upon us
Where we can’t clean our plates
We dance naked in the garden and give our lives to fate
No longer can we sing along to the tune of harmony
We feel as though it’s over now
Choking with hipocracy

Chaos comes quicker, I can barely flinch
But my house of cards is folding under pressure
I spent all day cleaning up the mess the wind blows the dust into crack and crevice
Suddenly, not feeling my best
The dirt is holding us together
It won’t let me go about
My ways are fixed upon it
I’m battling with the never-mind and not holding up.
For you Baby?
When I see you I can’t sit still
My heart pumps fast , my jello brand tm limbs
To imagine you here with me is a euphoric and realistic dream I’m so in love with you today
I forget about my own way
When I’ve got you in my grasp
I fight the questions I want to ask
What can I do to make you one
Who will love this lone son?
When I’ve got nothing left except my dying breath
When I have to feel to see
When I fall apart and bleed
Will you still be loving me?
A light yet lucid trip into the great unknown
Quakes and shakes unnerving
Cannot break my fall
Cannot take it all in
Yet I do not want to stop
I know there is more
Underneath and above
And to the ends of the earth
And to the ends of the system
Out up into space
Between the rocks and stars
Somewhere on a planet far further than we can go
Except in transcendental thought
Rocketing, journeying, yearning, awake
Because the end is certain

I will have to love you dearly
Take you to our house
Tie you down with hints
Bother you for certain
Because the end ins near
Life is that much shorter
The other side of this is guesses
As to what and where we’ll be
But I know for sure
That here I’ll have you next to me
So I hold you up with questions


Here comes the information I requested from the source
If I get it to work this time
It will be mine for sure
I am a single user
In a web of useful things
My shopping cart is filling
And I run to get for free
Time is remaining still
But I’m almost home baby
Here comes the download
.computation complete.
Basic as a task unspoken, reaching
Sunken treasure newly found
Half hidden power distorted
Folding loops are panning
I thought I could describe it
Send the symphony to you
Laying down through transformation
The beat filtered over the airwaves
The test tome and high notes
Tickle when heard but only without words

Facing up to the warmth to my human heart unshielded
Will I end by accident or the last decay of cells?
Mortified under thunder skies alone emotional refugee
Nothing wants to fly
Or have anything to do
Just being in pain enough but the arms of the one
Get up and take off like the wings of a white dove

Each moment I spent away
I’ve been focusing into slow decay
Thick and unrequited grayness
Solid fragments of withering mind
I am immaculate countenance to the state of your affairs
As much as I can give away
With just enough to breathe again
Because with her it is more than being without us
It is a new returning a hope of mutual wanting
Sweet voices of intimacy
Are beckoning to me
Through the thick drip, drip, drip

Hang on to me for I am drifting
Set me on course because I am dripping
Embrace the sleep
But give me your reason
Let me know if you’ve had a new insight into what you want to do with the soft clay feather I want to become in the dream continuum
A brown amalgamation a dark blue realization
Here is health in this most dangerous game we play
Don’t cut me with the fear of losing
I’m just a boy after all
I thought I was all grown up
Then I had to loose myself in your music for you are my muse
The daughter of creation
Your essence I will choose
You have given more than you know a jeweler couldn’t set you and break the news, you already knew, you already know, I dare you

Show me
Why are you afraid?
I dare you to come open the door
I will not want to change or rearrange
Just drive you to the view of views and listen and talk the speak of lovers for me there is no other are you setting another house of cards which tend to fall down or are you laying an impenetrable wall?
Are you casting another spell?
What do you know of this?
These things are threaded close
Allow me to be the host.
I let you do it to me in my everyday knowing
I went through the filter with you in my mind
Took a class, walked on glass, drove real fast, screamed in tune. Today is where I stand now stronger for it all
Still don’t want to fall

Nothing more or less
Everything I love best
Title card played hard
What’s next is a guess
We are just describing
Drawing a picture
Of what will be
Separate worlds we combine
To eat from the outside is divine

Meanwhile, I gazed into the fireplace
Between reality and dream
In touch with earth and fire
The hearth into the sea
Leather western worn-out welcome once let out to long
Tragedy of the Indian Nations
No justice when we run from it
Remember the Nez Pierce, Cherokee, and Sioux
500 Nations sadly removed
From sight but not from what is right

Smart move, like usual, you know me as well as I
Now I can shower you with my fruitful reflection
I hope you don’t drown in the waves of affection
I think the stillness gives way to greater realization
Not all roads lead back to home
When you’ve had enough, just call my bluff
And see if all your secret dreams come true.
Sacred Mushroom
Down by the water
Painting Pictures
Peace Grabs Hold
When you find Out
Gives the heart warmth
You’ll never loose your way again
As a child in the tidal pools
Breathes purest wisdom
The strobing points of power that I seek willingly
Pinnacles of evolving plateaus
I find them lying next to a body made of flesh who animated is able to exert
Mind into matter
Wine into water
Gold into lead
Time into the void
But tired eyes strain
And we float in
Pools of iridescence

Why is is I won’t settle for less?
Needing you to give me your best
Playing the game of life, r u ready to make your own rules and throw away all the rest?
Will you have me to be your own when all we have is our heart as home?
Will you find out all that’s here waiting
More wealth than a dragon’s hoard
More cause for new science
Help me figure this wonderful puzzle
Are you ready for a change?

I wish life was as easy as when I’m asleep
I live in order and peace
Whenever I dream, I have my woman right by my side
My car’s running great, life is like pie
I’m rich beyond measure
I’ve got all I need
The music I make makes all the girls scream
No need to question every little move

Learning to think for yourself
Is a step in the right direction
Question all they told you
Shed fear like a snake his skin
Welcome, you’ve made it
It’s now time to relax
Let the impossible happen
You owe it to yourself
When you thought it couldn’t go
Any further than it has
Have some faith in someone
And dreams will come to pass
I chatter with the old man
And we share a thought of life
He says it takes a moment to change
Wrong into right
You’ll get nowhere by being bored and sitting around the tube
If you want to start something
Try to look to a new point of view

No more of this, “I’m not going to take it anymore” because you probably will and in the end when all is said it’s still up to you to do it
So I don’t want to hear about how much it’s gonna hurt because the pain comes and goes when we are searching for the simple life and line, all will be understood
For what is in the food
I keep turning all the heavy load pushing the pile back and forth
And it’s here where I get lost
In exactly what it’s worth
The cycle of my input and output
Someone must destroy the carrier
It’s my labor my consumption
Keeping the wheels of corruption
Rolling along the highway’s and byways of our time
Just step right up, go on, you can do it
You’re finally your own person
When the credit is received I’ll just be creating enhancing and building more than mystery but less than nothing
Peace before destruction
Truth before belief
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to become one with what I am
Chance has driven me far but now I’m the driver once again
No one’s gonna bust my home-made mild groove
Not one weapon out there where I can’t just move
Avoiding the flying debris is a challenge, even for me
Confronting the line of fire
Facing the guilty liars
Coming out on top of desires

Words take meaning when we share
So when there’s none, I’m without air
I cannot breathe well, eat, or sleep
My mind races over decisions deep
The life made to give away to use is noble when without abuse
The common thread and visions
That I have can grow so distant with time spent all alone
Away from family and home
I give my mind to best intention
Erase the fear no direction
There’s this girl I know
She’s far from home
She’s been away for far too long
I can’t do much to let her be
I think about us constantly
She falls and the ripples set
Expanding outward for infinity
This is the most fantastic tale
To be with her when we are frail
The strength may never fade
For lasting bonds we have made
Is this going to last forever?
Love Randomized

Fairy tale

Going slowly downward
Looking inward not outward
Then the light from the city far behind
Fills the blue of the sky turning into night
Because you’re here then you’re gone
Like all the rest you’ll move on
As a child I formed ideas
I tested their validity
Unaware of the movement that went on underneath and in between
I reach back to remember
I take time to recall
I sit here thinking slowly
Wondering if I have lost it all
Because every battle fought has led to what I’ve got
And it ain’t so bad as I’m looking back
These pages bide my time
The ears open to the sublime are the pages of a gifted design
Don’t think too hard on what I say in here
Know the movement makes for a simple rhyme
I cannot read the lines of your face because they are so far away

It’s this reaction that makes me want to explore
The extent of my inside out
Creation of love without doubt – happens
Is there comfort in your dreams?
Through all the years and sleeping
Know the light always fades through the fog of a forest floor
The pine cone envelops more to come in the next rain and shifting of seasons
Find comfort in the inevitability of death whispering for you to join the mist of ancient wanderers over seas and stars and planets far, far away

What’s to gain in the keeping of minutes?
Peace Recognition
One Truth
Age Groups
Feeling Lost
Hope of love only thing to save me from the keeping of the minutes

Social Penetration….How deep can you travel?
A New day arrives and throws us into gear, to keep up our momentum we must never ever sleep
Racing with a cocaine world way too high upon itself
Drowning in the sports page
Why can’t I feel the same
Someone must have begun to slightly recondition
Enough like myself to throw away the emperor and cry out for justice to want reform out of the growing chaos
Uncertainty Avoidance
How sure are we?
On our bad Hair Days or our chemical holidays
How big is the question mark today ?
Take One …A 30 second monologue
It tends to be the best unadulterated vigin flesh unchewed and unrefined a stream of consciousness
That steps ahead of mind and into the deep good of the unfiltered world spilled like coffee on the newspaper browning the pages of our reasoning until now
Add to the entire view:
Knocking back the great defense
Arsenals of Death to fight a war of paper
Fascists fighting Christians fighting everyone whose not just like them
Military command played by bored war- room puppets strumpets and whores of Babylon
Fall down and pray more all over the world
Add to an encompassing view too few who are rescued who flew when hate grew right on top of me and you
We knew who would loose Blue and subdued we chew up the grassy poo poo cannot prove just what to do and I’m glad cuz I don’t want to
Tell the zoo to make Lou park his 62’ Malibu
Step up and through the dew
Down the lanes of the avenue
Past the memorial of ww2
And into the new Kalamazoo

Forever and a Day
I build up my confidence brick by brick
It may fall down
I look to the loneliness
When it breaks me I will call
Do you remember the sunny summer walks
That shed light upon the secret*
As two begin to talk
Bluest eyes I ever saw
Most beautiful smile calls
Coming out of the flash back
To this dark and lonely hall
Somehow I’ll live there forever

down to the city
out in the crowd
back n the mix
standing up proud
man in the alley
can’t get on his feet
for whatever reason
he is but one on a crowded street
not everyone’s got far to go
But nobody wants out for good

Out of the window into the night
Across town in a suburban
Fight where the kids are introverted and the parents never stop bringin home the paycheck checking out at 8 o’clock to the study to watch TV
We want to take an official count analyze the family to figure it all out we’ll insert a little chip and set up a little box to watch your deep dark lives
What’s truly everlasting?
You want me to be a better man
I think you near me is a damn good plan
Everything may change someday
Like these words from another view
Another way
But if you can’t stand it and want to prove what may be
Don’t be afraid just try and set me free
I can remember your laugh
They got few and far between
You’re hair would blanket skin
You’ laugh at the things we think
If you could hear them again than this would come true
What is the thing that you want most?
Take for measures quite unknown if you could just let it go come right out and say it

Experience the Ultimate Alternative

Nothing was thrown on top of me
Yet I couldn’t move away
I could not begin to escape
The magic watered the seed
It was holding back a tide
The moon let no shadow lie
We gazed upon a special breed
Floated down the river’s might
Never the same river twice
Tonight I sleep alone unfettered unrequited
Blatant disregard of Time
Dosen’t really mean much
Empty moment compare them
When you’re going to bed
Tossing and turning against nothing
Or when your drifting asleep in my embrace
Ahh… delightful;
Just an image or a phrase
Elicit from within
Favorable emotions dragged across my heart shinning memories blazing faith in honor
Peaceful Utopian
Drifting with You

On this here planet earth
We struggle to understand it’s worth
What does this life have in store?
And we’re spinning out of control
No more, no less, no more
Just enough to sustain living please
a little air, food, and conditioning
just don’t hold your breath
don’t sit down and wait for death
slam into gear
ram it in
hit the fucking gas
build things to last
She left me again in haste
To live her own life
Constantly busy, she wants to be free
She gave me a little bit of her time
Cuz I help her unwind
Yet all the while I’m yearning to be one
There’s a chance in the end
That we may be friends and another that we’ll be lost once again to a whim
Floating precariously on top of a giant bubble
That one day will pop!
Mountain Top
I’m gonna go for it for sure no stopping, heart pounding
We’re gonna get it together
Here we go all at once
Right off the edge of a mountaintop
Plateau is high and outta-site
The summit cold and bold
Finger in the sky
Without doubt, draw back the curtain
Try and hold back the flood
Proud and certain
Pick and note in the harmony
Bring the wild to ceremony
Tie a bond that sets us free
Kiss the wounded herald sleeps
So gently now he dosen’t scream
Ease my mind
Relax and unwind
Sooth and be light
Lifted up and supported in every way
Connected and certain, no need to stray
But I’m going away, becoming a preacher.**

Banana yogurt orange mango snacking madness eat the fruit and drink from the gladness
See the world and wonder through colored glasses
The time is near now dripping like molasses

Haven’t picked this up in days
It’s only a lonely reminder
I haven’t gotten through the maze
Have yet to really find her
The goal remains ahead here
Steady as the windward
It’s picture isn’t so clear
Curious, I step forward adding up the pain
Subtracting little pleasure
Making plans for May
Going to get away from here.
We are no longer held by social manipulation
Culture lag is speeding
Hurrying to catch itself by the tail
No limits, no reason
Science fiction,
Blink don’t think
The enemy is persuasion
Study it to escape from it

Do not worry about me my lover
We have only just begun
Spring is in the Air
And the spring has sprung
And from it’s welcome waters
We’ll play in the river’s pools
And dance upon the rocks
And act like perfect fools
When we forget the outside
And it’s just me on your mind
Don’t worry about me
Just revel in the love of all time
Some say this is all hopeless
And not worth the wait and pain
I am going to run from it I hope it goes away
And you come back again
Your friend’s eyes deceived you out there playing games
Am I the only one for you or am I but a name?
Have you brandished weapons
To face the fear alone
Or have you ran to others
To sooth your social soul?
Not knowing, just hoping and laughing at myself
Who am I to render the picture of your health?
Be just what you wish
deceive and be dishonest
but not to your delight or to my distress